Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for May 31, 1998

Transcript:

tom the dancing bug presents: news of the times nerrex joins nuclear club the nerrex corporation shocked the world with its testing of an atomic bomb, revealing a secret nuclear program that now places it among the most powerful entities on the globe. the company acquired the technology last fall when a $50,000 donation was made to the democratic national committee. they said thermonuclear technology would cost $100,000. i talked the, down, but hell, i had that in my wallet! nerrex lobbyist shame mcgwire the testing has solidified nerrex's corporate clout and has already served as a strong deterrent. pepsi broke off talks in our endorsement deal. they felt it could escalate their cola war with nerrex's hi-oh brand. rock group hanson rival conglomerate aggracom inc. had a more aggressive response, invading france to acquire it's nuclear capabilities. we're confident that this merger with the republic of france, although hostile in nature, will only benefit the consumer. meanwhile, nerrex is also facing criticism for having conducted its atomic test in a densely populated area of vietnam. Every resident affected was a paid employee of nerrex, and, while they didn't get "western" standards for wages, they did get plenty of bathroom breaks. Declared nuclear weapons capacity u.s. russia france-aggracom britain china india nerrex known to have nuclear weapons capacity pakistan ottawa senators hockey club israel hamadyas baboon troop whose territory runs from the curvy river to the great forest port jervis high school cheerleaders the view seeking nuclear weapons capacity iran iraq madonna the ghost story club lactose intolerant people howie from the sears auto center on rt 10 port jervis high school pom-pom girls north korea teletubbies libya guys named spencer the yanomami tribe mrs. turnbull's third grade class (except jimmy) stonehenge federal home loan mortgage corporation (continued...)