Tom Toles for July 27, 2017

Trump’s hinges haven’t been intact for a long, long, time.

That’s inspired. He’s unhinged. And that’s exactly what merit badges look like, except that they are smaller than the image on your screen.

Choice

The scary campfire story of “How I survived the president’s speech!” will become an instant classic!

At first I thought the caption would read, “You’ve just crossed over into … The Trumplight Zone.” (apologies, etc.):

There is a weird dimension beyond that which is known to normal man. It is a dimension as vast as empty space and as timeless as idiocy. It is the middle ground between gaslight and scary shadows, between real science and superstition, and its lies lie between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of Trump’s warped imagination. It is an area which we call the Trumplight Zone.

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/The_Twilight_Zone_(1959_TV_series)

HITLERIAN YOUTH – {limerick & coda}

Haven’t we seen this before? -

- as in Hitler’s Youth? … a corps

saluting their Führer

as Glorious Insurer

that their nation would soon again soar.

… Coda:

There’s now a badge for tying yuuge knots

in the gummint, – by devising self-serving plots.

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Yet, he’s still supported by millions of people and most of the Congressional GOP. No other president in history would have survived any ONE of his inane comments. This is just continuing a consensus of the national decline in our education system, ethics, and integrity. I’m flabbergasted.

DUMP THE TRUMPTIES – {rhyme & coda}

The whole durn’ family let’s soon recall.

No safety-net when yanked off their wall, -

- while Hannity’s mouthings and Fox-and-Friends

seek to defend their tenure’s trends.

The Trumpties will soon be scrambled eggs,

loudly obnoxious yeggs,

American history’s dregs.

… Coda:

All the king’s horses and all the king’s kin

couldn’t put Trumpty together ag’in.

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A caveat re my just-previous-rhyme’s advice to “Dump the Trumpties”:

AFTER TRUMP? EGAD! IT’S PENCE!! {a rhyme}

His damage comes fast

and his damage is vast.

Yet, when Trump’s in the past, -

- we’ll STILL have a Rightwing cast

in the White House where Pence

will nonsense dispense.

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Trump is trying to drive America insane so that America will think he is normal.

Basically he is just destroying the Republican party and the credibility of America.

Ok scouts, now can you put the door back on its hinges?

Actually, if we hadn’t been used to a cool, sophisticated, intelligent president who made us proud every time he went overseas, the change wouldn’t be so mind boggling. If we had gone straight from Shrub to Trump, we could have done it without getting a nose bleed from the altitude change.

“I have signed more bills than any President in history”

Translation — Ummmm. IOU’s to Russian oligarchs still count as bills, right??? After all, Trump does owe them money.

It is a shame that the one in uniform on the stage didn’t have the nads to say to the trumpster, " this is a jamboree, not a political rally."

TRUMP-FANS: – {a limerick}

He’s dragging our nation downhill,

and yet has supporters still!!

When Trump’s lost his venue

they’ll persist and continue

to serve up the Trumpian swill.

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We don’t need a merit badge for this, it shouldn’t happen. The President showed how low he can go in front of a bunch of kids. Luckily for him, he’s a Republican.