Clay Jones for June 25, 2020

These are a few of his least favorite things

The 1st and 2nd amendment are now exclusively for the ☠resident and his supporters?

In other breaking news, the president has ordered the National Guard to tear-gas tiktok, and all K-pop fans are to be shot with rubber bullets on sight!

So many new social terms are supplementing the old excuses. The dictionary publishers’ heads must be spinning.

tRump, the biggest baddest, ne’er-do-weller ever.

Certainly can’t admit he and his entire administration aren’t as smart as a 5th grader..

Of course, in that delusional fantasy world between his ears, he’s STILL beloved by 94% of ALL Republicans… at least that’s what the voices in his head keep telling him…

I’m surprised to see carpet in the Oval Office. I was told Trump had just “had the rug pulled out from under him”. Does that also mean he no longer “lies like a rug” ?

Everything.. but the image he sees in the mirror is at fault.

The Bell Curve of Trump supporters obviously starts farther left (NOT politically speaking!) and ends farther left than the rest of the population of these here United States. But it IS a curve, and therefore at least SOME of Li’l Donnie’s supporters did have enough sense not to risk an indoor rally in a raging hotspot of a global pandemic. (The news had already broken that all of the participants would have to sign a legal waiver that IF they got sick it would be their OWN damn fault. I mean, the NERVE of Donald Trump, making people risk their lives for him without any recourse to lawsuits!) Point is: punking and pranking aside, the crowd was always going to be much smaller than the carnival barker and his fellow sideshow geeks thought it would be. (There was no cap on the number of requests, apparently: it could’ve been ten million with the resulting crowd size EXACTLY the same.) Perhaps, just perhaps, people with Trump Derangement Syndrome are starting to come to their senses, and realize that a mobbed-up money-laundering career financial criminal, a rapist, and a traitor, is NOT the best person to have at the White House? (I mean, not even counting his many assorted mental illnesses. Depending how you count, Trump has six or seventy………

Mr Jones, keep up the great work. The sippy cup is a great touch, keep it.

Trump’s mind wonders off during Tulsa failure briefing: K POP, blah, blah, I prefer diet Coke. Blah, blah TICTOK. Time for FOX News. Blah, blah, ZOOMERS. People that eat KFC, chocolate cake and hamberders at the same time. Blah, blah, end of briefing.

I really, REALLY hope the Zoomers & K-Poppers keep up the great work!

Awww. Poor liddle Donnie, did somebody rain on his party?

Always everybody else’s faults other than his own…